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19 May 2019 CE | 15 Ramadhan 1440 AH
Explanation below

Hadith Explanation

No Indulgence in Rebuking

Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “It is not possible that you indulge in rebuking and reproaching and at the same time remain Siddique (truthful) and straight.” [Mishkat Al-Masabih]

When a person gets into the rebuking mode, he very easily goes overboard. It suddenly becomes next to impossible for the person to control himself and limit himself to saying only that which is strictly true, without making generalizations and exaggerating. The situation quickly develops into an argument and each person becomes bent on proving that they are right and the other is to blame.

If you must let someone know of their shortcomings, decide in advance on exactly what statement you are going to make. Make sure that it is 100% factually true and limit yourself to saying only that much. For example, assume you felt insulted when you were cut short in front of your friends. Keep your tone neutral; simply describe the bahaviour and your feelings: “When you interrupted me in front of my friends, I felt insulted. Please do not interrupt me like that again.” Should the other person start attacking you, control yourself; hold your tongue and say no more.

If that statement had been said to you, you should have evaluated it quietly in your mind and fixed your shortcoming, without starting an attack in return.

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