Islamic Date

09 Shawwal

English Date

31 May

Disaffecting a Person's Family

The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: "He who disaffects a person's wife or servant from him is not of us." [An-Nasai]

According to this hadith, it is unlawful for a person to mention anything to another's wife, servant, son and so forth that could disaffect them from him, unless one is commanding the right or forbidding the wrong. It is a grave sin to sow discord among people. That is why it is best to consider one's words many times before uttering them.

Abu Bakr (radi Allahu anhu) kept stones in his mouth for several years in order to force his tongue to be restrained. Our tongues quickly utter every thought that Shaitaan, or our unrestrained nafs, passes through our heads. This quickly accrues sins for us, putting us on a slippery slide to Jahannum, Allah Forbid.

The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) guaranteed Paradise to those who could control their tongues and their private parts from sin. One of the misuses of the tongue is the utterance of what incites hatred among Muslims. Many are quick to incite their daughters/friends against their husbands, not bothering with seventy excuses but being quick to judge. This has become something of a pastime. In the light of this hadith we must remember that this is a terrible sin: Examine your words carefully and weigh what you say before it is weighed for you on the Day of Judgement.